They are common and a standard part of a child’s development. Tantrums are short periods of angry outbursts or unreasonable behaviour like crying, screaming or shouting (RC Psych, 2017). Like I mentioned I am here to help you if you want it in any way I can in the best of my ability!! I hope this was helpful.In a word, yes. I have experienced happy times and also the times where he did not like hearing the word “no”. But aside from work I have experienced being a sister and living with a child who has Autism/ADD/ADHD from a young age myself. Sorry I feel I might have been a bit confusing but I hope you understand my point! Okay I wrote a lot I wont keep going on, but if you have any questions about anything that maybe I have experienced at work and can offer insight on. He may or may not grow out of this phase as he gets older and as he realizes that behavior is not doing any benefit for him. You got this! It is a learning process for the both of you and you will grow and learn together what works and what doesn’t in controlling the tantrums. It’s honestly trial and error every kid is different and a lot of patience during this process. Either way being a 3 year old or having autism or both, he will learn and see that extreme tantrums will not get him anything but being ignored and maybe even some toys being taken away from him until he can behave himself. But in reality 3 year olds will act out and become bratty when not getting what they want when they want it. Not giving into his challenging behavior while he’s young will teach him quicker then when he has more years of experience acting that way and achieving what he wanted. I understand the sensory issues for sure, that is common especially with children who have ASD, but he still will have to learn how to control that especially for the future. He can cry his eyes out and eventually he will tire himself out and learn that acting in that type of behavior did not get him what he wanted. For example at daycare drop off : “You are going to listen and behave good today right? If you aren’t a good boy today when I pick you up later you won’t be able to play with (most desired toy) when you get home but if you behave and listen good you can get 5 extra minutes of play time before getting ready for bed!” Make this sound super exciting and desirable since he is still young where being overly excited about the smallest things make them sound a lot more desirable. I would suggest trying to find what toys he likes to play with the most. So at your sons age he is still very young and I would lean more towards being a typical 3 year old. My younger brother also has Autism so I’ve been around it since I was 6. Hello! I am a behavioral technician! I work with children who have ASD doing at home therapy using ABA therapy. So, a lot of the times its just hard having really big feelings and trying to cope, even without autism. Her neurotypical syster is turning 2 in 1 week, and omg, she's hitting the tantrums hard too. When she's being a brat, she's not even trying. I will say we've been in occupational, play, and ABA therapy for 6 months and when she's having an actual meltdown she is reaching for her coping mechanisms. If she was just being a brat about something, its over really quickly. The difference between the tantrum and the meltdown? The time it takes to come back down. The time for that is when they are agitated but not full blown. When she's calmer we work on alternate coping mechanisms. I don't cave, but I let her know she's safe and loved. "Its really hard not to get what we want right away." "Ugggghhhhh! Its so hard to be so mad!") Many times my 3 year old just wants to be held while she's going through it, and when she's able to put herself back together, she'll stand up and shrug it off. I just empathize, validate, and hold the line (e.g. During the actual meltdown/tantrum is not the time to try to reason or teach lessons. Regardless of the source of the tantrum- whether it be an actual meltdown (I call it an emotional seizure because they really aren't in control of it) or just a bratty moment, the feelings are big and they are there and they are valid. Honestly, I treat all of the tantrums the same way- firm boundaries and lots of love.
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